


Before Anything Else

by raihaqyaza



Category: PRISTIN (Band), SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, DWC Era, Eventual Jeongcheol, F/M, Light Angst, M/M, Post Broduce, Romance, Weewoo Era, seungcheol and nayoung are friends (or something)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 22:30:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15873009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raihaqyaza/pseuds/raihaqyaza
Summary: Nayoung looks thoughtfully at the man sitting in front of her and is reminded, repeatedly, of the burning strength that has kept her going for as long as she has, and without notice, her mouth got the better of her as she asks, “Why are we not together?”





	Before Anything Else

**Author's Note:**

> Back with another Canon Compliant.
> 
> This is set in 2017, where Pristin, SVT, and Nu'est are actively promoting around the same months. According to canon timeline, Seungcheol joined Pledis before Nayoung, and Jeonghan joined after Nayoung, so this fic will assume that since they were down in Pleads' basement for a while, they are all in good relations contrary to the lack of interaction we see in real life.

Nayoung has been friends with Seungcheol for far longer than anyone care to remember.

They are, after all, two very different people whose fates were coincidentally written upon the same stars; both set aside from groups they worked hard to debut in, both facing disappointments only to strive higher and receive more than their initial intended destiny, two people who were blessed by luck and now shining bright in their own rights.

Their intertwining fate, more or less, had connected them, and it started ever since the moment Seungcheol pressed a cold can of coke to Nayoung’s cheek as a form of comfort, when they announced Kaeun will be the next member of After School instead of her.

(Nayoung had stopped crying by then, but Seungcheol had found her and showed his sympathy because he had been there and understood the gnawing hurt and frustration.)

That is why they are here today, sipping coffee in the break room, celebrating the steady friendship they share while catching up after a long day of practice. 

Nayoung looks thoughtfully over her warm cup of tea at the man sitting in front of her and is reminded, repeatedly, of the burning strength that has kept her going for as long as she has, and without notice, her mouth got the better of her as she asks, “Why are we not together?”

Her eyes widen for a fraction, surprised at herself. She blinks, and her eyes rapidly shift from his eyes to her own hands with in hesitation.

Seungcheol pauses mid-sipping, brows lifted slightly but not quite caught in surprise.

Nayoung doesn’t know how to elaborate other than the fact that she thinks they make sense.

If they say Jonghyun and Seungcheol compliment each other because of how different their personalities are from one another, they also say that Seungchol and Nayoung compliment each other exactly because opposite attracts, and there is no one in the world who will deny how much they belong in two different realms and breathe different energy, and perhaps that is why they have always been attracted to one another, for the personalities, talents, and little quirks that they find alluring and long to possess, but know they are of the other domain and never their own.

Nayoung waits, and then Seungcheol clears his throat. She raises her gaze to meet his eyes. There is certainty unlike anything else she has seen before when he replies, “Because what makes people fall in love is the mystery behind it.”

It... is a loaded answer,  and she doesn’t quite know where to begin to dissect that statement and figure out what that explains about their relationship, but with Seungcheol, Nayoung never complicates things. With a hum, she takes it.

She moves on to a simpler question, “How is Jeonghan doing lately? I saw him with his new haircut the other day, he looks very different now—still gorgeous, of course.”

Seungcheol’s eyes light up the way they never do with Nayoung, and she sits back, relaxing as he rambles on, knowing it will be a while until he finishes.

This, she thinks, is why they are not together.

—

Everyone says you know you love someone when you just simply do, and it is not a life-changing revelation like how Seungkwan used to fantasize it out to be in between their joint-training sessions in the past—mostly it was to tease Hansol and Yebin for their friendship back in the day, though Seungkwan was, and still is, and open book, so everyone was able to see past the passive-aggressive jealousy that lurked behind his words.

This is how Nayoung knows she is not in love with Choi Seungcheol.

She watches him approach, flashing her his charismatic gummy grin. There is spring in his steps that expresses the youth in him that she hasn’t seen in a while, and his eyes are twinkling like he has a secret that he cannot wait to share.

This is what he tells her;

“I came home from practice late yesterday and Jeonghan was waiting for me. He gave me a hug, told me I worked hard, and it truly felt like coming home, and it’s crazy, because the dorm has been my home for a while, but it’s the first time a person has ever truly felt like home to me.”

Nayoung maintains her smile, encouraging him to share more because she knows he is not done.

“He insisted to wait with me as I finish my dinner, but he fell asleep on the table because he’s been working out hard to lose weight. One look at his sleeping form, and I realized something.”

Nayoung has waited years for him to admit his feelings.

“I’m in love with Yoon Jeonghan.”

His grin is blinding and Nayoung shifts her eyes away.

 _This_ , is how Nayoung knows.

—

Yoon Jeonghan is a flirt, that much everyone knows.

So, apparently, while Nayoung was busy promoting with Pristin, the man found himself in a drunken kiss with Choi Minki, and she heard this from Seungcheol himself, who called her to their spot, looking all miserable and upset.

“I thought we had a thing going on,” Seungcheol rants this time, running his hand through his hair in frustration. “We were—we were getting there.”

Nayoung knows better than to ask how he feels about the whole thing. Minki is his friend, too, and everyone has had a crush on Minki at least once in their lifetime, whether you swing one way or the other. He must have felt very conflicted when he first found out.

(Nayoung wished she could have seen the whole charade, if only for entertainment purposes.)

“Being drunk is never a justifiable excuse, but,” Nayoung shrugs, “They were, you know, drunk.” 

What else can she say? Minki has been at a low this year, and Nayoung feels for the man. You don’t go to Produce 101 and leave unscathed.

“I don’t do open relationships,” Seungcheol says. “Jeonghan knows this.” 

“Does he know how you feel, then?”

If Jeonghan kissed Minki knowing that Seungcheol is in love with him, then that is another story altogether.

By the fallen look in Seungcheol’s face, Nayoung takes that as a no.

Seungcheol is her friend first and everything else second. She advises, “If you don’t plan on telling Jeonghan how you feel and what you want, you don’t get to complain.”

Seungcheol frowns, clearly not expecting Nayoung to take Jeonghan’s side.

“Let him do whatever makes him happy,” she says, because she understands Jeonghan, as a person who has also been put through in confusion on what her and Seungcheol’s relationship actually is. “As long as there is no plan in making things exclusive, Jeonghan gets to do what he wants. He is an independent man capable of making his own decisions, and you are the last person in this world he expects to chain him down if there are no serious intentions involved.”

Seungcheol leans back on his chair, looking slightly less upset and resigns to himself for the rest of the evening.

The next day, Nayoung visits Seventeen’s practice room with Xiyeon during break time. Xiyeon immediately goes off to bother Chan as a pretense, when really Nayoung knows she just followed for the drama. If the room tenses considerably at her entrance, she doesn’t let that affect her. She is a woman on a mission, and she goes over to where a certain man is resting on the floor to offer him a can of soda.

Jeonghan face closes and he takes a second before accepting it, and Nayoung simply shoots Seungcheol a small smile when he stares incredulously at her kind gesture.

Except, really, it isn’t.

It is simply Nayoung reminding Jeonghan that Seungcheol was hers first, and she, just like Seungcheol, does not take it lightly when what’s hers is hurt. Nayoung understands Jeonghan, understands where his insecurities and fears in loving Seungcheol are coming from, but it is high time for Jeonghan to look around and understand that aside from his main worries, there is also her in the overall picture.

Let him figure that out.

“Thank you,” Jeonghan murmurs, and Nayoung nods. She wishes him luck, and gets to her feet when Soonyoung hollers for them to start again from the top to ease the awkward atmosphere.

She takes that as her cue to leave, and she feels her fingers brush against Seungcheol’s as she makes her way to the exit door.

—

The situation does not get better, and Seungcheol has moved from being hurt to angry. Seungcheol—for all his perfection, is a man often controlled by his feelings, and Nayoung sighs as she watches him pace.

“What happened?” Nayoung asks patiently. If she can handle two girl groups, then she can handle Seungcheol.

“I had a talk with him.” Seungcheol stops, gritting his teeth.

“Well, how did it go?”

“He’s showing his true colors,” Seungcheol scowls. “The bastard.”

Well, that’s new.

“Okay,” Nayoung needs to take this a few steps back. They can get to bashing Jeonghan later. Preferably when it’s around the time she has practice so she can get away. “What did you tell him, exactly?”

“Everything!”

“As in, your feelings and what you want and expect from your relationship?” Nayoung tries to clarify.

“Yes,” Seungcheol snaps. “And he had the nerve to pull back.”

Nayoung wants to slap him for that one. “He gets to say no, you don’t own him.”

He pins her a glare. “How am I supposed to feel when he said he likes me back but doesn’t know if we should make it exclusive or not?”

“You’re supposed to be patient and wait until he’s sure he knows what he wants. That’s only if you’re willing to wait, of course,” she reasons.

Seungcheol doesn’t say anything for a while. Then, he sinks into the chair next to hers and groans, “Why do you always know what to say?”

She laughs. “I’ve had my fair share of heartbreak, too.”

The expression in his face changes instantly into one of concern and a flicker of something else, and Nayoung ignores the old butterflies that soar back to life.

You see, Nayoung had her chance, once.

Nayoung had her chance, and she let it go.

She let it go because at the time, she just started out as a trainee and couldn’t let a handsome senior distract her from debut. It was a clean rejection, and Seungcheol was not hurt because he understood at the time of what life as a trainee entails.

The thing is, good things like Seungcheol, the chance doesn’t come twice, so by the time she was ready, all she had left of Seungcheol was his friendship and his newfound obsession with the new, cute trainee who had not grown into his own skin just yet.

That was okay for her. She was happy to take Seungcheol however much he was willing to offer.

His obsidian orbs bring her back to the present. “Anyone new?” He asks, and Nayoung knows jealousy when she hears one. What she doesn’t know is what to make of it.

She entertains him, “No, just you.”

And it’s the truth. Nayoung does not see men come and go because she has only watched Seungcheol ever since she started allowing herself to be interested with the likes of men. Anyone else always seems to pale in comparison.

His face twitches into one of guilt, and—perhaps, a tad bit of relief. She doesn’t let herself ponder on it any further than necessary. “Give it time,” she tells him with finality, because she really needs to go practice anyway.

She hopes the hidden meaning is not lost on Seungcheol.

He nods, calculative eyes following her as she gets up with their empty cups.

“I’ll see you later.”

“Good luck."

They don’t complicate things. 

They leave deeper conversations for another day.

— 

What is the truth, you ask?

Im Nayoung does not try to move on.

Which is why on a late Saturday evening, in the middle of playing truth or dare with all Pledis artists—a rare moment, these days—and the bottle points at her and she is asked, ‘If you can marry anyone in this circle, who will you marry?’, answering the question comes as easily as breathing.

“Seungcheol,” she speaks her truth.

She doesn’t bat an eyelash at the immediate shift of air, she simply reaches forward to spin the bottle.

Added by the initial tension that still lingers between her and Jeonghan, her members have always disapproved. Jonghyun, too. She has stopped paying attention. She is grateful that they care, but her feelings do not cause her any pain, so she doesn’t see a point in moving on. 

She is happy, and that, is also her truth.

By the flicker of satisfaction in Seungcheol’s eyes, she knows that he is too.

—

Nayoung finds Seungcheol’s lyric book one day, lying open on the front desk table at the lobby. She knows its his by the handwriting. She keeps a page of his verse in her purse.

She goes over the pages without permission until she finds a blank one, and pulls her pen out. She writes right then and there, and writing comes like a second nature to her, just like it is to him.

She makes a habit out of this, pouring her heart out on his book. He gets to read them and keep her secret safe, and in return, he makes Nayoung reads the lyrics he writes, to help tweak and twist them into better verses for future projects. Sometimes, he asks her to read them just because, to convey something better left unsaid.

“You’re being depressing,” a voice says over her shoulder, and Nayoung stills. Then, the voice registers, and she turns to find Seungcheol’s face really close next to hers.

She continues writing and feels his chin on her shoulder, his hands loosely embracing her waist

It’s like as if they’re asking for paparazzi to capture them like this, through the front door. Except, the blind is down, and as their managers like to call it, it is not hunting hour just yet.

“You’re insecure,” he takes note.

Nayoung briefly rereads her own writing, “I suppose, yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t know where I stand in this relationship.”

They don’t complicate things. She says what she feels. “You love Jeonghan, but you’re here, too.”

Around her, next to her, behind her, close to her.

Seungcheol turns her around, and they stand face to face, distance only a hair width apart. His face is even closer like this, and he gently, gently asks, “What do you want?”

Nayoung sees a second chance in his gaze, an offer to try again. It is alluring, but Nayoung has made peace with her past. She doesn’t need Seungcheol to—oh.

He takes her hands and intertwines their fingers together, and Nayoung’s heart can’t help but to yearn with want.

She thought she has made peace with her past.

“I want to be with you,” she says.

Because they make sense together.

“I want you to love me,” she asks.

But his heart belong to another.

Seungcheol nods, earnest, but Nayoung remains wary after.

—

He is in America the next time they talk, to shoot a music video for their upcoming comeback.

“I’m not in love with you,” Nayoung tells him. It’s late at night in South Korea, but he has promised to call her as soon as he gets there, so she has been waiting in their spot for a while.

Seungcheol laughs halfway across the world, and the sound automatically tugs the corner of Nayoung’s lips into a smile. He replies with a touch of amusement, “Ouch."

“I would like to, though. I feel like I can love you if I want to, in any second.”

A silence.

“That sounds simple.”

“It does,” Nayoung agrees. She adds, “It is.”

“Why aren’t you in love with me, then?” His voice is warm, humoring her, and she presses the phone tighter to her ear, like as though she can be closer to Seungcheol that way.

She can imagine his smile, a tad arrogant and fully charming.

“Because you’re in love with Jeonghan.”

“Ah, I see,” he says, all hints of mirth is gone.

Sometimes, simplifying their problems into easy words get them somewhere nice, where they break things down to put names into what isn’t there and draw lines where things are blurred. Finding words and conveying them one way but making them sound another is part of their job. However, other days, it gets them to a dreaded place, where they can either dance around the laid out truth or tackle them head on. Nayoung and Seungcheol, they tackle them. They don’t know how to not address the elephant in the room and not work things through.

So this is Nayoung, daring Seungcheol to tackle one thing at a time, because even though Nayoung trust him with everything else in the world, her heart is a fickle thing that she has protected for a long time. If Seungcheol is offering to move on from Jeonghan for Nayoung, she needs him to say it the way that it is.

In this scenario, this is how she breaks it down.

Nayoung loves Seungcheol because he has been her friend forever.

Nayoung likes to be with Seungcheol, because to her, they fit right like puzzle pieces. Living this idol life, being with Seungcheol makes things easier. She is going to want to marry someday, and so will he, and when that time comes, Seungcheol is the most convenient choice to spare her the trouble of scandalous shots and possessive fans. 

(There will be always those, of course, but if they remain in the confine of the company’s building, nothing truly gets anywhere)

Except, Nayoung is not in love. She doesn’t think she can, not when Seungcheol is still in love with Jeonghan—who is currently out of the picture, choosing to step away and taking some time for himself, who clearly loves Seungcheol too, and Nayoung knows this because she is not delusional.

Hence why, Nayoung can’t let Seungcheol in to her heart, not completely, until he breaks it off clean with Jeonghan, until he is sure that he no longer wants to be with him. Nayoung is many things, both wicked and admirable, but she will never be that woman.

She respects Jeonghan, and by extension, Nayoung demands Seungcheol to have some respect for her as well. He needs to make a choice, and if he is going to cower himself out of it, she will force him to do it regardless.

“What leap of faith will you take, then?” Seungcheol asks, and it sounds simple enough, except Nayoung hears it for what it is; Seungcheol naming his prize, now that she has named hers.

It comes easy for her. “I’ll give you forever.”

Nayoung has no need of and want for anybody else. She will be an idol for the rest of her life, and so will Seungcheol, and because dating around is a hassle, they will be the it couple that the company announces to have been dating for a few years once they reach their late twenties instead.

She will marry her best friend and live in comfort. As an idol, it is the best thing she can hope for.

Oceans away, Seungcheol accepts, “Okay.”

—

Seungcheol is back from the US with thinner face, and Nayoung trails a delicate finger down the side of his face in disapproval and worry as soon as she got them alone.

He catches her finger and keeps her palm on his cheek, under his hand. “Will you wait?”

Nayoung tries her best to not show her frustration. She knows why he asks, knows that something must have happened in the US that Seungcheol is having second thoughts. Before she gets to answer, there is a faint voice calling out, “Unnie!”

She pulls her hand away, “Fine,” she replies, and even to herself, her tone sounds clipped.

She turns to leave, and a hand catches her wrist. “Until when?” he asks.

“You want a deadline?” Nayoung laughs, exasperated.

 _So it’s easier to get away,_ a voice in her head says. _So he can pretend to not be ready and then leave by the time it’s due._

She shakes the thoughts away.

Seungcheol is her friend first before anything else, and Nayoung knows just how much he cares. She thinks he asked because he wants to give her freedom if he fails to move on from Jeonghan, so she can go and find the happiness that she doesn’t particularly care for but he’ll insist that she deserves.

Her heart is a fickle matter.

“End of this year.”

She will give certainty forever. Other than that, not so much.

—

“Jonghyun asked me out this morning,” Nayoung announces in her seat, tilting her head up and leaning against the wall, still replaying the unexpected turn of event over and over in her head.

A deep frown forms between Seungcheol’s brows. “Are you serious?”

“I think,” Nayoung meets his gaze and chooses her words carefully, “He probably sees my infatuation with you as something toxic and he’s just trying to do the right thing by attempting to help me see that there are other men in the world."

Jonghyun, too, is her friend, and though they share a bond not quite similar to her and Seungcheol’s, he, too, has always looked after her. The thing is, he will always be a senior to Nayoung, a man who walks around with charms and aura that demand respect, though he is never the person to act like he is superior and above them all. She is never able to see him as her equal, and to her, he will always be more of a caring older brother that knows how to keep his distance and let her grow on her own.

His sudden interference was confusing, and it made Nayoung wonder on why people who observe their relationship might think it’s wise to put a stop on it. It was weird, too, especially because Nayoung was able to see right through him. Still, she did feel grateful. She gave his hand a squeeze instead, and though it was not as comfortable with easy affection like she is to Seungcheol, it was an attempt at assuring him that she is and will be okay. 

“Did he say that?”

“No, his exact words were, ‘do you want to go get dinner with me sometime?’”

“That’s not an invitation to a date, friends go get dinner all the time.” 

Nayoung rolls her eyes. “The point is, it’s bound to happen.”

“What is?” he asks, alert.

“People asking me out,” Nayoung tells him, and it isn’t a show of narcissism or overconfidence. It is natural for idols and actors or actresses to trade glances and share secret, suggestive smiles. She has seen how idols get around during ISAC, has been the receiving end of flirting idols herself.

Seungcheol goes silent as he finishes his iced Americano. “You’re right,” he mutters.

On a completely different note, Seungcheol changes the topic, “I never really stopped being interested with you, you know.”

Nayoung shuts her eyes and clenches her jaw. She knows exactly what he is doing.

“After you rejected me, my feelings toward you have always lingered in the back of my mind.”

Seungcheol is a sadistic bastard, that’s what he is. Who says something like that to a woman who longs for him when he himself is falling head over heels for another man?

But, she is not one to talk—because by the small grin that she hides under her palms, perhaps her soul is colored by a streak of masochism and this is how she figures out that she is doomed.

—

Right before Diamond Edge world tour starts, Seungcheol comes knocking on her door, braving himself through the hostility of her members. She pauses at seeing him on their living room, and she turns to prepare tea for the two before joining him on the sofa.

Her members retreat to their respective rooms, but not before sending Seungcheol sharp looks as warning.

“Even Junghyun’s turned against me,” Seungcheol comments with a small pout.

Nayoung dismisses the comment and gets to the point. “What are you doing?”

“I wanted to say goodbye. I checked our schedules and we won’t be seeing each other again for a while.”

Nayoung feels her stomach drop.

It must have shown on her face, because Seungcheol grits his teeth, “Don’t. Have some faith in me.”

She does, but not on this. Not on her heart.

Seungcheol will be touring for months with Jeonghan, and Nayoung has long recognized and acknowledged the fact that she is the lesser favorite between the two, especially since Jeonghan has started warming himself back to the rapper.

Seungcheol has promised to try, but Nayoung knows him better than she knows herself.

Still, she humors him, eyes cast down and showing vulnerability that she doesn’t show anyone else. “Let me know if anything happens.”

The underlying request is not lost on him. “How long do you think it will take me?”

Never, is the answer that is right on the tip of Nayoung’s tongue. Never, because you don’t really stop wanting someone. You can let things go, and you can subject yourself to your destiny, but you never really forget.

She thinks she is allowed to hope, for one last time before he walks away. “Three months?”

His expression falters, hardens, and Nayoung knows then and there that she is the last man standing, the lone soldier who is still willing to fight a battle that was supposed to be faced together.

She presses down the claws that are tearing her insides apart.

Instead, she takes his hands and kisses his knuckles, and though she has a feeling that it will be the last time, she insists, “Until next time, Seungcheol.”

He is her friend first, and she knows Choi Seungcheol does not make empty promises, so she wonders later on why he bothered assuring her that he will call every weeky during the tour as he leaves their dorm.

After all, Seungcheol will have the comfort he desires, and Nayoung will be too far out of reach to care.

(This, is a lie.)

—

Diamond Edge has ended with great success and Nayoung has not heard from Seungcheol for the past few months. She didn’t try to reach out, and neither did he, and it is telling enough of what that means for their relationship.

It’s only the end of September, a short of three months away until the end of the year, and Nayoung can already draw a conclusion of her own in his absence. She does not confront him. She does not complicate things.

Seungcheol finally comes to her first, and he looks even more cheerful than the first time he whispers to Nayoung of his feelings to a certain man. She can easily trace the happiness in the lines of his face, and her immediate reaction is to smile, “Welcome back.”

He nods in thanks, and does not beat around the bush. “What if I tell you I’m dating Jeonghan?”

Nayoung stills, but only for a second.

In all honesty, she is not surprised. She has seen the fancams and the V-Lives, and she is far from delusional. She commends herself for having seen this coming from a mile away, and she brushes a thumb to smoothen the nervous frown in between Seungcheol’s brows.

There is no guilt needed.

That will only complicate things.

“I am your friend first before anything else,” she tells him straight, meeting his eyes and unflinching. “I support you and what makes you happy.”

He hesitates for a second before he presses his hand to her cheek, and she leans into his touch. Taking a step further, he leans his forehead on hers and admits, “You don’t know how relieved I am to hear that.”

Nayoung doesn’t allow herself to fall into bitterness or anger. Instead, she feels like she can finally breathe again. It is easy to let Seungcheol go, because in this world of theirs, Nayoung has always known where her priorities lie, and it has always been to herself first and him second.

She steps back first, and his hand falls to his side.

There is a weight of disappointment in her chest that she will never admit to, for she has prepared herself to accept the fate of simply being the other option but never the final choice. She is only glad that he respects her enough to immediately come forth to her with an explanation as soon as he is available.

There is a moment where Seungcheol looks conflicted, and then he finally says, “I’m sorry,” to which Nayoung shakes her head hard.

“No,” she smiles, gently cupping his face in her hands and looks up to see him with all the love and affection that has been burning in her heart for years.

She needs him to understand that there need not be any regret. They are free now, and can continue as friends without the what ifs that have always lingered between them in the past.

“Seungcheol.” It is overwhelming to think that they are finally here, after five years of toeing back and forth on the fine line of their blurry relationship. “You’re my friend first,” she stresses again, softly, as her hands fall down the side of his arms, his wrists, and then finding their secure place in his hands. Her fingers grasp his tight, “Before anything else, you are my friend first and you always will be.”

He closes his eyes. “You are, too.” 

She finds a different kind of love in his final embrace, and even though she might not feel like home to him, he will always be to her, and she is content this way—happy, even, to accept what he has left for her to relish.

Until the very end, Im Nayoung has kept her business with Seungcheol uncomplicated.

For one final moment of selfish want, Nayoung entangles her fingers with Seungcheol’s a second before he reaches the door and presses warm lips against his.

Then, she is a friend once more.

**Author's Note:**

> Uh, yeah.
> 
> Go figure.


End file.
